Friday, January 18, 2013

The View As I See It...

As I type there are three little girls asleep in my guest room. We shared a night full of fun, movies, nail painting, pizza, giggles, stories, and more! They are here growing up in Africa. Each day they learn more about this world we live in, as well as how the Lord has called us into it to help others come to know Him.

As I sit in my candle lite room I can not help but think. What will these girls grow up to be?! The Lord has a great plan in store for them. They have hopes and dreams. Who knows....maybe one will be first woman president.

While I think about them and what the years to come look like, I am excited, but also sad. I love kids (if you did not know that already). Something inside of me looks at the view as I see it and is over come with mixed emotion. God has called me to Africa. He has blessed me. Each day He shows me where He wants me. Today He wants me with these sweet girls. But there is a hole in my heart. I long for little ones of mine own (not only biologically but through adoption as well). As I have a ball with every child the Lord passes in my path with I wonder.  Will ever have children of my own?

Maybe a family is not what God has for me. If so, that is something I will have to come to terms with. Only He knows what is down this crazy road called life. So from where I sit there is joy paired with longing. I will do my best to give it to the Lord. Fully lay this desire down at His feet and TRUST. So much easier said than done. I will hold on to the truth I know: 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

I trust in you;
    do not let me be put to shame,
    nor let my enemies triumph over me. 
 No one who hopes in you
    will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
    who are treacherous without cause.
 Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths. Psalm 25:2-4

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